Proof positive that all toddlers are little schizophrenics

Sick baby yesterday.  For the first time in his life, he completely refused his afternoon nap.  Well baby NEEDS that afternoon nap - usually sleeps for almost three hours.  He is big on naps and sleep.  So sick baby? Nap is even more imperative.  Alas, he wasn't having it.  Nothing I could do.

Here is a conversation with sick, no-nap toddler.

Me: "Johnny, are you hungry?"

Johnny:  "NO! NO NO NO! WAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me:  "Okay."

Johnny: "EAT? EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!!!!!!!"  Climbs into his chair at the table.

Me: "Do you want a hot dog?"

Johnny: "NO HOT DOG!! WAHHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU EVEN SAID THE WORD HOT DOG!! WAHWAHWAHWAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me: "How about fruit snacks?" (His usual forbidden favorite.)

Johnny: "NO FRUIT SNACK! NO NO NO! WAHHHHHHHHH!"

Me: "Okay.  How about a taco?" (For Johnny, a taco is melted cheese in a tortilla rolled up.)

Johnny: "FRUIT SNACK? WAHH! I WANT FRUIT SNACKS!!!!!"

Me: "Okay."  I open some fruit snacks and start pour them onto his plate.

Johnny: "NO! I WILL DO IT! I DO IT I DO IT I DO IT!"

Me: "Okay.  Here you go."

Johnny: "TACO!?!?!?  WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me: "Okay.  I'll make you a taco.  Do you want some juice?"

Johnny: "NO JUICE! JUICE IS FROM THE DEVIL! WAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me: "How about chocolate milk?"

Johnny: "NO MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Juice?"

Me: "Okay, here's some juice."

Johnny: (struggling with the fruit snack package, banging it on the table with the force of 1000 strong men) "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "Okay, here you go." (pouring the snacks onto his plate.)

Johnny: "NO FRUIT SNACK! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me: "Whatever."

Johnny: "Taco! TACO TACO TACO TACO!"

Me: "Taco is almost ready.  Be patient."

Johnny: "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HICCUP WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me: "Here you go."

Johnny: "Thank you! Thank you! I love you! Kisses?"

And, scene.