Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The old way

I remember when blogging used to be about just writing about whatever bizarre thing was on my mind.  It was about telling old stories or thinking about the future or just spilling the beans about whatever pointless happened to me in a given day.  I sort of miss that.

I'm glad that I can supplement our family's income by blogging now, and I enjoy very much what I do on my various sites, but sometimes I miss the days when I only had a handful of readers and could write what I wanted with abandon.

Like today.  I want to write and curse and shake my fist at life.  I want to write GODDAMN MUTHERFUCKER COCKSUCKER SHIT and not worry about who my audience has become and what they might think.

A friend is dying.  A friend who took me to my first high school dance.  Who kissed me after a football game.  Who was a sports hero and a soldier and a husband and son and brother and friend.  Who is not yet 40 years old.  Who just found the love of his life, who deserves fifty plus years with her, instead of just two.  Two.  Two years, one spent in and out of the hospital in pain, in psychosis, in grief.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The bathroom

I have spent countless hours on Pinterest, planning various rooms and spots in my house.  Nothing looks like my Pinterest plans.  At least, not yet.  But we're getting there, slowly but budget-friendly surely.

We've painted the kitchen a cheerful turquoise blue, and the dining area and living room "raw silk" - which = white.  We've hung floating shelves and WE DID NOT GET DIVORCED OVER IT.  (+1 #our marriage)

We have beautiful new gunmetal gray furniture in the living room and my mom's vintage rocker is out being reupholstered as we speak and people, I cannot wait to show it to you.  If I can't have another child, I can have this chair.  It will make me almost as happy.

We have put some art on the walls, some makeshift, some decent.  I have plans for more simple wall-filling items, like a reclaimed window frame from the Habitat Restore that will go above the entry way door in the giant vacuous space up there that haunts me at night, with its emptiness and vacuousness.

The guest room is looking great with the rustic wood furniture and my old white mattelasse (I am so happy to have a use for it) and Grandma Helen's crocheted white afghan and many colorful throw pillows that I collected over the years for many different bedroom decorating plans that never quite came to be.

Our bedroom - well, I don't like to talk about it.  I am doing nothing until we get new furniture, and we can't get new furniture until I FIND said furniture, and I know what I want and it's vintage and it's not findable.  Not right now, at least. So, it remains a space where the door stays shut and I sigh a lot when I'm in there.

I have plans for a quick rehab to the basement paneling and I know where the playroom is going - it's halfway there.  Johnny's room is as good as a 2 year old's room can be - that is, smartly decorated with lovingly handmade quilts and blankets from his Grandmas, rehabbed old furniture of Mama's, a custom curtain from Aunt Amy, and various adorable odds and ends all fitting into his "transportation-themed" space - and completely trashed most of the time.  Also, often smells like poop.

Mr. Meat and Potatoes' bathroom (our master bath) is what it is.  He has brown towels and a brown rug and I did a little window "mistreatment" so our neighbors wouldn't have to see His Hairyness through the small window in there as he brushes his teeth and does "other business".  It's fine, and no one ever goes in there but him, really.

So with all of that rolling along as well as it can, I turn my attention to my bathroom.  My bathroom is also Johnny's bathroom and it is in the hall of our 1977 split level home.  It is a nice-sized bathroom - at least as nice as a hall bath in a 1977 split-level home can be.  And, it is COMPLETELY UNINSPIRING.  I haven't given a moments' thought to that bathroom since we moved in, save hanging my shower curtain and slapping the two photos (which I do love) on the wall that I had in our last house.  It's a bit sad.

I want to jazz it up, but I'm totally without direction.  And here I am, asking for help.  The room has a large vanity and a white marble-ish countertop and above the large vanity is a huge mirror.  I will post pics eventually.  Next to the vanity is the toilet, and across from all that is the tub/shower.  I will post pics eventually.

The cabinetry is dark, plain, not terrible.  Original 1977, but I have seen worse 1977 in my day.  This can easily be painted or re-treated with Rustoleum Cabinet Transformations to look new, with some new hardware.  But before I do that, I need a plan.  White? Bead board?  Or white bead board and espresso cabinets?  Wall color?  Ugh.  Help.  I need ideas, I need freshness, I need cheap.  And I need a beautiful bathroom.  Every woman should have one, right?

This gave me a bit of an idea.  What if I took my vanity completely apart?  Also, I think I could slap a painted frame around my giant mirror to give it a much more "finished" and updated look.  Thoughts?  This bathroom seems to be similar in size and shape to mine, though I have no window and the toilet is on the other side.
First inspiration
another view of the same room


Yesterday, for the first time since starting WW ten days before, I wanted a bit of sweet.  The notion rarely strikes me, so when it calls, I try to answer.

I was at work, so the cafeteria was my only option, and I thought pretty hard about what to have.  I had points to spare, but I like to come in "under" if I can, so i didn't want to go big and blow like ten points on an ice cream bar from the freezer.

I decided on an itty bitty cup of soft serve ice cream.  That way, I could control the portion size.  I sprinkled a few chopped peanuts on top and a tiny bit of lemon syrup.  I think the whole thing was just a point.  Two, tops.

This, I believe, is the way to go.  Rather than settle for some "fake" dessert, or eat something that isn't really what you want in order to satisfy a craving, just have a tiny bit of the real thing.  I took it back to my desk to eat, and it was just right. I was satisfied (I think it was only four or five bites), I wasn't tempted to go back for more, and I could put the whole "sweet" thing behind me for another week.